The War Zone

This is my first rant on my blog. Actually, its my first real rant in a very long time.

For  most of my life I’ve always kept things to myself. This includes all of my emotions except happiness. I was scared if I showed anger, disapointment, or sadness, it was a sign of weakness. I make friends easily. I’m reliable. I’m passionate. I’d say I’m a pretty good friend. However, when others try to understand me/get closer to me, I always push them away. Yeah, I kind of have trust issues.

But ok, enough introduction. Right now I’m mad. I only get mad when there are things that are out of my control. Shouldn’t I be able to change my life if I wanted to?? If you I put my mind to something, can’t I just push the limits so far that I can do anything?! A little naive, you think? I don’t think so. But so many people do, its so tough to change minds. Though I haven’t given up, sometimes it seems so “impossible” to change something.

You are the master of your fate, and holder of your destiny.

I think its bullshit to let someone else dictate your life. The people who love you will support you no matter what. UGH. Its just Romeo and Juliet all over again. I’m referring to relationships. I don’t want to go in too much detail, but in a relationship, shouldn’t one be focused on the relationship itself? Not what others think?

This is a war that I have to fight. 

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5 thoughts on “The War Zone

  1. That pretty much sounds like the two years before I got into university…..and it was pretty much because some people that I thought I could trust convinced me NOT to go to university (among other things).
    I have to admit it’s not something that I’ve gotten completely over yet and I’m not sure I ever will. I do see myself leaving the country again and starting fresh, clean slate and all OR just return to Japan to be with all the amazing people who want me to be happy & successful with my life. It might mean I would have to give up going after my dream job but it’s a sacrifice I’ve considered.
    Leaving for another country isn’t really a luxury that everyone has nor would consider but I guess what I should say is that sometimes you may have to minimize ties if you only find yourself being constantly burdened by a bad relationship(s). At least having some sort of mutual entity / third party who can at least mediate and/or help everyone see things from a neutral perspective. Human relationships can be tricky although thankfully it does get a little easier as you get older and meet millions of different kinds of people.
    Hmmm…..I’m sorry I can’t give any solid response to help resolve your situation. I really do hope things work out and that you feel much better soon!

    • Hi Prototype! I do appreciate the feedback and that you shared your experience as well!

      In my opinion, there is no set path for education…you can always go back to University!! Don’t let other people persuade you from your goals.

      And Japan or Canada, ah! What a tough decision. Either way, I’m sure you will excel and be well on your path to happiness 😀

  2. Hey Kristin!
    You sound so much like me when you say “I was scared if I showed anger, disappointment, or sadness, it was a sign of weakness.” It’s OKAY to be angry or disappointed or sad and show it at times. Of course, you are the master of your destiny and you could shape your life anyway you wish to. But when you talk about a relationship, it’s important to think about both persons involved. Sometimes we may look at things from our perspective alone, there could be another perspective and the other person may be looking at it that way. Communication is the best way to resolve things. Talk, communicate, express yourself and make yourself understood. I am sure you will be your bubbly self after that. Take care girl!
    Check this out 😉

    • Ah yes, this is true. We can sometimes get engulfed by the whole “me me me” syndrome and we forget about the perspective of others. I agree with you in that communication is one of the most important, yet sometimes overlooked way to resolve an issue. In both friendships and relationships, good communication is key. Thank you for the reminder!

      Hahaha and cutee image! 🙂

  3. Pingback: Life’s Expectations | Prototype K22

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