Pick Yourself Up

Apparently its my 1 year blog anniversary today. 🙂 I know I’ve been a bit AWOL.

Yenow, I was going to post a rant a few days ago. Life was pretty sucky. I was in a mini rut. Lasted a 2-3 weeks or so until I finally snapped out of it. Or AM I out of it? I don’t know. However, I DO know that I feel better…so that should mean something :).

I was on vacation for the past 2 weeksish…went to Hawaii and crossed off some ’13 bucket list items 🙂 Got some sun, and it was a lot of fun. But whenever I’m 1. Not swamped with work 2. Not hanging out with friends, I start to think…a lot. Andddd this year definitely had a couple rough patches. This year’s wrap up in a few months is going to be crazy intense. My grandma, as well as one of my friends passed away and its been taking a big toll on my heart. I now understand how people feel when they say they’ve lost someone close to them. But life isn’t about holding on to something that you once loved, its making new experiences and memories with those who are here, now. Yeah- I’ve been telling myself that for the past few months, but its so much easier said than done. I’m not really one to talk about my feelings much, so its a lot easier to type things out. I guess everyone needs a place to vent, and this blog has helped me quite a bit. You guys-the readers have also really helped out a lot. 

I’m trying to think of something useful for those who are going through a RUT as well. If you all have any wise words, I would love to hear them. 

I think first and foremost, mourning is a must. Trying to stay “strong” doesn’t mean not letting yourself go and to just cry every once in a while. Let it out. A lot of life is hurtful, its okay to let the tears flow. 

Let those around you know what you’re going through. There are plenty of shoulders willing to catch your tears if you’re willing to open yourself up. I’m one to lag on this step. Lag quite a damn bit. I mean 99% of the time, I’m either happy or hungry! So its just as odd for me to express my feelings as it is for the person listening to me (I think). I don’t think they know how to respond when I go “deep zen mode”, and I’m very unpredictable when it comes to wanting to open up. Its just like dancing for me. I’m either in the mood or I’m not. If I’m not in the mood, I’m not gonna dance.

Exercise. Damnit, if you feel like eating a whole pint of ice cream, you go eat that pint of ice cream. However, you definitely have to work it off. Just like the quote in Legally Blonde, “Exercise gives you endorphins, endorphins make you happy…happy people just don’t shoot their husbands.” Trust me. Exercise will make you feel better, and you won’t have to fight the urge to kill your husband. Its the best way to take out your frustrations.

You need to pick yourself up, and move on. Always remember the good times you’ve had with the ones that have passed, but don’t forget that you have a life to live. One that the people who are no longer with us would want you to live to the fullest. So follow your dreams. I now have another dream developing. I’ve already lost two people I loved very much to Cancer. Both fighters. Both that had an influence in my life. I’m going to start with the Liver Walk this weekend, and then on to bigger things that will make a difference for families that haven’t lost their loved ones yet. 

Last, but not least, appreciate the good things in your every day life. You only have one life to live. Despite losing two loved ones, there were nine more reasons to smile. My cousin’s dog had NINE puppies! 🙂 Any wise words, funny internet memes/vids, cute pictures would be greatly appreciated at this time!

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My Biggest Fear

This must watch video REALLY tugged on my heartstrings. From the moment they started talking, I could feel the energy, and love this family has for one another. Mr. Ryan Woods was unafraid of dying, trying leaving behind as much as he can for his children. This is something we should all strive for every day.

EDIT: Hm, the vid isn’t loading correctly. Trust me its worth the watch! It’s not as pretty, but here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEJx6nbDyhA&list=PLzvRx_johoA8PC6S5k5S2SszRQOR8oSEa%5D

I’m sure many of you have been asked “What is your biggest fear?” multiple times in your life. I’ve heard so many different answers (spoiler alert if you ever want to ask me this in person). Answers usually range from spiders, to heights, or public speaking. Want to know what mine is?

The fear of losing someone you love. =/

Whenever I contemplate about death, it isn’t a fearless journey. Death is my biggest fear–just not my own death. Life is so damn fickle. Every interaction you have with another human being is important.

“Then there is the most dangerous risk of all – the risk of spending your life not
doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.”

You can’t change or mend relationships such a short time. What it comes down to is who you’ve touched, and how much of an impact on their life you’ve made. Work hard. Fulfill your responsibilities. Make and maintain friendships. But if you keep postponing your own happiness until “later”, know that tomorrow may never come. Everyone should just take a deep breath everyday and celebrate LIFE! There is so much joy out there to be spread! Every moment is a new opportunity for happiness! 🙂

“…So the questions is, what is the story are we going to live out as we’re dying? Just invite people to live a beautiful story regardless of what type of brokenness they have to deal with.”
-Ryan Woods

Now its my turn to ask you, if you had 1-4 months to live, what would you do?