Modestly Confident

What’s the line between modesty and confidence?? I seem to struggle with this quite a bit without realizing it until someone underestimates me. It makes me think about my approach to things that I’m decent at. Can one ever to -too- modest? I think so. I often forget that many people around us don’t judge by actions, but by what they hear. Not by what they see, but what they want to see. Does that make sense? In this respect, I’m probably a crap martial artist who doesn’t believe that black belts mean anything but how much commitment/what the person wants it to mean (to the average person they’ll probably be like “wtf is this girl saying?”). That I really suck at Basketball/can’t dribble/can’t do layups. My drumming needs work because I haven’t played for a while. Oh- and that I can’t really hold my liquor very well because I don’t like feeling full. Wowww, I really am quiteeee an extraordinary being, huh?! Who wouldn’t want some of this?? :p

I’m writing this just to remind myself that its okay to be confident in your ability. I shouldn’t shy away from the things that I’m passionate about. I shouldn’t be afraid to say that I’m (wow this feels really weird to even type this) good at certain things. Strangers, and even friends sometimes forget that I can hold my own. That I’ve grown every single year, and day for that matter. When I sit here a little frustrated about why certain people underestimate my abilities, I can’t help but think that its not their fault for thinking that way. Its what I’m telling them, and the way I’m telling them that forms their opinion of me. I don’t want to just be “nice” in the eyes of my peers.

Though I’m confident enough in myself to brush off what most people think of me, this post will be the first step towards a more confident sounding Kristin. Sometimes you only get one shot, one sentence, or even one look to make a positive impression on someone else. I want to create an energy that can be seen, heard, and felt. I’m not sure if I can ever accomplish that, but I’ve certainly met a hand full of people with such a presence, so I know its possible! …lets aim for a modestly confident Kristin 😉

Hahaha. So what do you think is the line between modesty and confidence? When does one start to sound cocky? I’m really interested in hearing your thoughts! And I also apologize from being MIA, big things are happening in the world of Kristin! 🙂

Living Life to the Fucking Fullest

Happy Monday!!

Fucking Inspiration

“Believe in your fucking self.
Stay up all fucking night.
Work outside your fucking habits.
Know when to fucking speak up.
Fucking collaborate.
Don’t fucking procrastinate.
Get over your fucking self.
Keep fucking learning.
Form follows fucking function.
A computer is a Lite-Brite for bad fucking ideas.
Find fucking inspiration everywhere.
Fucking network.
Educate your fucking client.
Trust your fucking gut.
Ask for fucking help.
Make it fucking sustainable.
Question fucking everything.
Have a fucking concept.
Learn to take some fucking criticism.
Make me fucking care.
Use fucking spell check.
Do your fucking research.
Sketch more fucking ideas.
The problem contains the fucking solution.
Think about all the fucking possibilities.”

-Brian Buirge and Jason Bacher

I’m a fan. 😉

My Biggest Fear

This must watch video REALLY tugged on my heartstrings. From the moment they started talking, I could feel the energy, and love this family has for one another. Mr. Ryan Woods was unafraid of dying, trying leaving behind as much as he can for his children. This is something we should all strive for every day.

EDIT: Hm, the vid isn’t loading correctly. Trust me its worth the watch! It’s not as pretty, but here’s the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hEJx6nbDyhA&list=PLzvRx_johoA8PC6S5k5S2SszRQOR8oSEa%5D

I’m sure many of you have been asked “What is your biggest fear?” multiple times in your life. I’ve heard so many different answers (spoiler alert if you ever want to ask me this in person). Answers usually range from spiders, to heights, or public speaking. Want to know what mine is?

The fear of losing someone you love. =/

Whenever I contemplate about death, it isn’t a fearless journey. Death is my biggest fear–just not my own death. Life is so damn fickle. Every interaction you have with another human being is important.

“Then there is the most dangerous risk of all – the risk of spending your life not
doing what you want on the bet you can buy yourself the freedom to do it later.”

You can’t change or mend relationships such a short time. What it comes down to is who you’ve touched, and how much of an impact on their life you’ve made. Work hard. Fulfill your responsibilities. Make and maintain friendships. But if you keep postponing your own happiness until “later”, know that tomorrow may never come. Everyone should just take a deep breath everyday and celebrate LIFE! There is so much joy out there to be spread! Every moment is a new opportunity for happiness! 🙂

“…So the questions is, what is the story are we going to live out as we’re dying? Just invite people to live a beautiful story regardless of what type of brokenness they have to deal with.”
-Ryan Woods

Now its my turn to ask you, if you had 1-4 months to live, what would you do?

The Pursuit of Fulfillment

So as some of you might have noticed, I have been quite busy lately! Just trying to get my life together. These past few weeks have been a series of huge ups (and not necessarily downs), and serious reflection. At times, its easier to keep busy, rather than to contemplate about life ;). This post is going to be a bit of a tangent, so bear with me…I have a lot going on and I want to release it!

I have high standards. But damn my friends have a ridiculous amount of faith in me, which results in at times,what it feels like, infeasable results. However, its a refreshing to know that they believe in me, and my abilities. Though its a bit overwhelming, I feel good when they do push me. Ohh the pressure to excel. I’m just scared that I won’t meet their expectations. Again, this goes back to my post about overbearing feelings: The War Zone. On one hand I want to continue proving them right, by pushing myself, and on the other hand, I just want to show that I struggle as well, even if its in a different way. SOMETIMES ALL I WANT IS A HUG! …and none of those crappy side hugs, I only befriend people who give real, teddy bear-like hugs.

Sometimes life is like a tide. Extremely overwhelming, and full of emotion. But at the end of the day, its how you interpret the situation. Did it come in and destroy, or has it given you the opportunity to rebuild yourself, even stronger? Did it give you the strength reach out your hand to help another, when you wouldn’t have done so previously?

As I was training the other day one of my buddies said “Life is a series of failures.” Part of me agreed, but I cringed at the word failure. So, being the damn optimist that I am, I challenged him. But, I couldn’t really give a good answer on what my definition of success is. He proceeded with:

“What, are you comfortable with your desk job??”

It kind of offended me a tiny bit, at first. How dare he say that when he knows I’m always trying to better myself! There’s more to life than just work! Hahaha. Anyways, I’ll probably never be truly content, but some people may be perfectly fine/blessed with having a desk job. What if I were one of those people? I would be even more offended! Of course all this occurred to me in the shower…after the fact…as always :p So, what DO I define as success?

For me, the definition of success varies among different individuals.

I believe that success is being the strongest version of yourself as possible. And I believe that success is shaping your life for the betterment of society, always sacrificing yourself to help others. I want to have the ability to enter into someone’s life at any given moment, and touch them in a positive way. Whether only for a moment, or befriending them for their entire life.

I am only 24 years young, I haven’t even begun to grasp the struggles and responsibilities that many have to bear. The importance of caring for a child. The struggles of scrounging for every penny to pay for a mortgage. The horribly crippling feeling of losing someone you love. The quest of happiness and success is a long and never ending road. But I do know, at least for me, that happiness comes in the simplest of forms. Pure feelings, and human emotion. In other words, that warm, fuzzy feeling. 😉

I’m uncertain about how to go about the next phases of my life…all I know is I have to keep moving forward. Which is, many times, the hardest part.

What have you all been up to lately? My fellow Martial Arts enthusiasts, athletes, and optimists? Do you have any wise words of wisdom for me through these times?

Beauty from Within the Stars

Stars

I’ve always grown up loving the night sky. Stars in particular have fascinated me ever since I could remember.

One of the fondest memories I remember from my childhood was when my dad sat me down and had a heart to heart conversation about life. I couldn’t have been older than 6. Little did I know, his words would stick with me forever.

Appreciate life for what it is. Have faith in each other.

My parents never pushed religion upon me. Naturally, when growing up, I got bombarded with questions about what I believed in. Quite funny, because I went to a Christian school (It was apparently one of the best schools in the district), so everyone just assumed that I was Christian. I felt so absurdly uncomfortable because we never went to church. As a kid, you don’t really think about the significance of faith, you kind of just follow your parents until you get a stronger sense of what you believe in. Ok, back to the story.

One night my Dad and I sat outside on the sidewalk, just hanging out, and he asked me “How was your day?” Slightly confused 6 year old Kristin answered with, “We talked about God…do you believe in God? What do you believe in?”

“All you have to know is that I believe in doing the right thing. And that’s what you should strive for, too.”  

He probably said it in a more fobbish undertone but, that’s how I remembered it. 😉 Now when people ask me what’s your faith/religion etc. I simply tell them “I believe in doing the right thing.” 🙂

Don’t let anything stop you from your dreams.

We would sit outside admiring the beauty of the stars. Taking in the moment with each breath. But one day, it rained and I was so sad that that we couldn’t visit the stars! He asked me,”Do you want to see the stars tonight?” Little Kristin-“Dad, that’s impossible!”

“If you put your mind into something, it is always possible. Remember that.”

He grabbed an old cardboard box, punctured it randomly with a pencil,the proceeded to stick a flashlight in the box. When he turned that flashlight on…oh boy…it was one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen thus far. The whole room lit up with all types of stars. Small, big, lopsided. And mannn, did I love it.

Pairing these lessons with the beauty of the stars makes moments magical! I’m still completely, utterly in love with the stars ’till this day. When I look up in the clear night sky, I forget the bad, and breathe in the good. 😀

Dad and I 🙂

Thanks Dad!

Edit 12/26/12: Showed my Dad this post without saying it was from me. He read a couple of lines and asked me “Is this you?!?!” I just said “read!” …he’s not super emotional but he did say “That’s really nice.” 🙂 Yayyyy

Simplicity

I’m a very simple person. I find the simple life extremely alluring. Give me a small house around nature, close to my family & friends, and I’ll be happy. Seriously.

Scotty Asai – Tahoe Sky

I had a discussion with a few of my coworkers the other day. Are we happy with all this technology around us? Are the children in our generation happier than the children a few generations ago? The American kid on his Nintendo 3DS, or the African kid with a soccer ball? We often have technology and innovation to our disposal every day. We can order food to our doorsteps with a touch of a button, yet fail to realize it is a beautiful day. We live in an era where there are smart phones and dumb people 😉 No offense to smart phone users.

I feel we are blinded by the media at times, losing sight of what is concrete, and truly important in our lives. Don’t get me wrong, I do love browsing the web, playing games, and I definitely feel lucky to have many conveniences that serve to make my life easier. But, I can’t seem to shake off the fact that the weekends where I spend away from technology are the ones I remember most. Taking the time to embrace the beauty of nature, or the company of good friends is something I really enjoy. Here are some pics from Tahoe weekend a few weeks ago!

When Everything Goes Wrong

I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.
-Aubrey Hepburn

You can be the happiest person alive, then life throws that crazy curve ball. Hit or miss, we have to strong enough to move forward.

I believe that through hard times, its okay to break down. Its okay to rant, and fuss, and beat the crap out of a body bag. But afterwards, you have to come back down to earth, and realize that there is so much more the world has to offer. The true test of character is if you are able to personally handle it.

Happy Monday, lets hit the ball out of the park.